Previous printings of this tome had an eloquent, helpful and, if I may say, frequently droll description of the venerable gains goblin, a beast I discovered many years ago during my travels in the mountains to the West. But I was recently informed that the creature was actually discovered several WEEKS earlier by some fly-by-night adventurer with the unfortunate moniker of "Dorknuts," so I was forced to amend this entry to give this person credit. Well, felicitations, Dorknuts! You happened to be in the right place at the right time, just steps ahead of me on some mountain path, and now you've forced me to discard a perfectly useful passage so that all may know your ridiculous name. In any case, the gains goblin, as Dorknuts is only too keen to remind you, is a gnarled, ugly creature who travels alone and is motivated only by its appetite for gold, gems, jewels and the occasional high-value musical instrument. Surprisingly, the enormous sack they carry with them is not filled with loot but rather cheap trinkets used as a lure or distraction. No, the gains goblin literally EATS treasure, and digests it so completely that even cleaving the beast in two will give you no hope of reclaiming its meal. Which really is my only consolation - I hold out hope that somewhere out there, years ago, some gains goblin probably ate Dorknuts' lute or something.
