If you're familiar with the popular "Bidrick's Gruesome Tales for Nervous Children," you're probably heard that it takes 500 years to be digested inside of a toothtube. I have never heard a more ridiculous myth in my life! Fear not, for the toothtube's digestive tract is in fact remarkably efficient. Your standard beast of burden is usually in and out in a matter of weeks. I believe the confusion is related to the fact that the toxins within the myriad teeth of the toothtube have the effect of heightening the senses, so that being digested feels like an unbearable, unfathomable eternity. Simple as that. 500 years!! Can you imagine anything more ludicrous? Bidrick is a total hack, by the way.
