The key to preparing the mighty Stachelig is to drop it straight into an enormous cauldron of boiling water. That way the meat stays sweet and tender and there's no chance of any sort of food poisoning, which - let me tell you - you DO NOT WANT. Give it 5-10 minutes, crack it open, dip into some drawn butter, maybe a squeeze of Ghornian citrus if you can find it - you've never had better, I promise you. Oh, I'm sorry, you want advice on FIGHTING it? Oh dear. Get ready to be killed is my advice.
